Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

There are important differences between healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt. Their contrasts can affect one’s life in drastic ways- for positive results or negative ones. Being a survivor of domestic abuse, I had to reflect on my feelings to tell the difference between productive and destructive remorse.

Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

Productive (Healthy) Remorse

Healthy guilt leads the pathway for growth and change. It can also help to right past wrongs- even if it’s just a simple, but wholehearted, apology. Accountability lessens the burden of a heavy conscience, easing stress, anxiety, and depression. Owning up to our actions keeps us true to ourselves. Healthy guilt is not a never-ending process over a particular experience, but one from which we learn, exercise common sense and maturity, then move on. Moving on without the shame of persistent guilt paves not only our way for a happier future, but our loved ones’ futures as well.

Healthy guilt is not a never-ending process over a particular experience.

Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

Destructive (Unhealthy) Remorse

Unhealthy guilt can create inner loathing, low self-esteem, and lead to debilitating shame- even on an unconscious level. Ongoing self-blame opens the door for manipulators to exploit our need to make amends for our imagined (or genuine mistakes). And it locks us into the past, halting our ability to grasp a thriving future.

Ongoing self-blame opens the door for manipulators to exploit our need to make amends.

Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

Learn To Forgive Yourself

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 1 John 2:1

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

Isaiah 50:7
But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.

Psalm 22:5
To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.